I use my blog for venting. And this is another venting session. But before I get into that part, I'm asking for a little help here.

My Dad is in the hospital. He's in the ICU on a ventilator with all sorts of tubes and monitors hooked up to him. I don't remember all the jargon. But on July 6th, he had major surgery and they removed his colon because it was extremely infected. He was already suffering from Parkinsons. He had been in a Residential Care where they were trying to adjust his meds. He complained about a stomach pain. They investigated on July 5th and found the problem was infection. The next day it was major surgery time. They say he may not make it.

Now the venting part.

I didn't talk to my parents for 18 years. When I messed up my business and my marriage was on the rocks, I reached out to them. The first words out of my mother's mouth were: "Dont' expect any money from us". That was not even on my mind. They were retired. Dad had Parkinsons. I just wanted to reconnect, build bridges and have and give support. For six months I tried. I called every day. I listened to how wonderful my younger brother was. I listened to how much she missed the neighbour kids who she practically raised. I got untold amounts of unasked for advice. Over and over and over. If I didn't respond or listen, then I heard what an idiot I was. If I argued, I heard what an idiot I was and why did I even bother talking to her if I wasn't going to listen. The fact that I was 42 years old, had an ex-wife and two pre-teens didn't seem to enter into it. The fact that I was just calling to shoot the breeze didn't matter. She was going to tell me how to live, breathe and how to be so much better in life. So after seven months I quit trying, again.

I did keep up email updates to them every few months. But then I got a supremely nasty email from her full of head games and riddles. So I stopped that for a couple years. But I started doing that again about six months ago. I also looked up my brother and tried emailing him too. He is his mother's favorite for a reason though. Two peas in a pod. I gave that up too. Life is easier sometimes just living it, rather than trying to re-build the past. I tried again with the brother through Facebook, having found out he has just had twin girls in April. Thought things were going well.

Then today, Shannon calls me and asks who is Penny ********* ? I said, I don't know. After reading the message that I had received on Facebook, we believe it was my youngest sister, whom my parents also disowned. Another long story there that I won't ever discuss online. Anyways, she had messaged me that my dad was in the ICU in the hospital and they didn't know if he was going to make it. Shannon did some research, turns out this person is an ER nurse. I still don't know if it is my sister, but I'm trying to contact her. I rushed over to the hospital. Managed to see my Dad, talked to him, though he was kind of out of it. Went back to work. BUT now I'm really angry. At my brother for not telling me. Dad's been in there for a week now. At my mother for not contacting me. She's got my phone number and email. I have been still sending her updates on my life, my kids, my work, my relationship, etc. But my own brother, whom I have been talking to online only couldn't even get past his mother's hang-ups to let me know. Family ! (and I say it like a swear word)

Ah well. . . . . . prayers for my Dad would be appreciated by me (and him too). Thank you

I picked my kidlets up at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, June 27th. I was supposed to have them Friday evening. But in the spirit of compromise; and because I really, really wanted to have them with me on Father's Day which is supposed to be my access day anyways; I let the ex take them Friday night to her mother's house to celebrate her mother's birthday. Long and complicated it's not. The ex isn't working. The kids are out of school. Her mother is 85 years old and at home. Her sister has a disability and stays at home. So, the ex could take the kids over there anytime after June 19th, the last day of school, to visit and celebrate Gramma's birthday and Auntie Julie's birthday (June 23rd and June 26th). BUT, she demands the right to take them there on Father's Day instead. Nope, not on the Saturday before Father's Day which is her day to be with the kids. But on Father's Day, which is ensconced in a court order as my access day. The nasty emails fly back and forth. I involved the kids, my Bad. BUT they are 16 and 14 now. They can stand up for what is right too. They wanted that day with me. They had Mother's Day with her, why can't she just move on after four years. So, I stood my ground and said No ! So she says, if I can't take them Father's Day, then I'm taking them either Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. NOT Monday and Tuesday when I have no access, but Wednesday, my regular access, or Thursday, my birthday which again is ensconced in a court order that they get with me or Friday the day I'm supposed to start my first week of holidays with my kidlets. Sigh, I gave up the Friday night. I asked very politely if she could then drop them off after the dinner with her mother, say by 9:00 p.m. Of course not. So I told the kids, I would get them Saturday morning. Which I did.



I had to work on the Monday, took Colton to work with me on Tuesday and showed him what an electrician turned fire alarm techinician does. Hailey went to her friend's house on Monday, then to the Jonas Brother's concert Monday night, did a sleepover, then came home Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday was Canada Day and we went to Whonnock Lake, where it was a crazy zoo. But the kids played in the lake for a few hours.





Thursday we went to see the new Ice Age 3 movie, but not in 3D. Friday we went to a Vancouver Canadians Baseball game at 1 p.m. It was so hot. Friday afternoon, driving home........ yup you guessed it, more crazy ex-wife crap......



Hailey gets a text message on the way to the game. She tells me it's Kelsey, her best friend. Then it goes again. Then it rings and she answers it. The ex is on the phone screaming at her. From the one sided conversation, I gathered it wasn't Kelsey, it was the ex texting my daughter. Evidently she hit the road with her boyfriend, the long haul truck driver. She won't be home until Monday afternoon. Wherever she was, the reception was horrible. She couldn't hear a word Hailey was saying. She wasn't getting Hailey's return text messages. She had sent a text asking them to stay with me for the weekend. They are supposed to go back Friday night, that's the end of my first week of holidays. She did NOT send me a message asking ME to keep them over the weekend. NO, she sent it to Hailey. Hailey told her I was going away Saturday. Then the ex tells them to go home then, but will they be okay? Um, so, yes, they are 16 and 14 and should be able to take care of themselves. BUT, what kind of parent, disappears, then at the last minute, says, "are you going to be okay?"........... So if they say no, what then? You're going to fly back from Oklahoma? You're going to text your daughter and tell her to go to her gramma's house which is over an hour drive away? No forethought, no planning, no asking the ex husband for help. No, dump it all in the 16 year old's lap. And the fact that both Hailey and Colton fight like rabid animals doesn't ease my mind.



THEN Hailey gets a call to work on Saturday. She has no ride down there. She has no ride home at 9 at night. There's buses down there, but not back at 9 at night. There is no one as back up for Colton in case there's any trouble. Fred and Jill are going to be in Washington state because their daughter Lisa is getting married today at Wiser Lake. That is where I will be too. So, I told Hailey and Colton that Shannon's Aunt Lorraine and her significant other Keith will be here, so they can call them if they need anything. The ex would never do anything for me or even for the kids if they were with me. But, I am NOT the ex. I am my kid's parent! I will protect them, care for them, love them and look after them no matter where they are or whose access time it is. It doesn't just turn off, just because it's the ex's time to be with them. I can't say "oh well, not my business". BUT you can bet I will sure as hell use this in court the next time we go.



So all in all, a good first week of holidays. Back to work on Monday. And off to a wedding today.



Big hugs and prayers to all. And to my American friends, Happy Independence Day, may your 4th of July be as fun and festive as my Canada Day was. God bless ya'll.....

Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes, whether it was here or on Facebook.

I had a great birthday. I worked all day long at a site in South Surrey, then came home across the new bridge. I stopped at home first, changed and then headed off to pick up my kidlets. We got back to the house and Shannon was not back yet from dropping Cameron off at the BC Ferries where he was headed off to Nanaimo to visit his Uncle Paul, Aunt Colleen and his gramma and grampa. But dinner was in the crock pot so we waited for her to get home since she was on her way. We had a wonderful Mango Chicken curry on basmati rice. It's one of my favorite meals that she makes. She had picked up a wonderful cake from Crumbs Bakery in town here. Not my usual CHOCOLATE cake, but a fantastic blueberry cheesecake. That's my second most favorite dessert, cheesecake. The baked kind. Mmmmmm....... BUT.......

We didn't have the cake right away, she said we were waiting a bit. I didn't clue in, just thought it was to let our tummies settle. After all, I had three helpings of dinner. I clued in at 6:20 when I asked if we were having cake yet. Nope, not yet, she had a plan.........du,da,du dun.....(drum roll) lights went on upstairs, she had invited my "adopted" mom & dad, Fred and Jill. They showed up at 7, we had cake, then we opened gifts. Fred and Jill brought me two bottles of Argentinian red wine, a Malbec blend. Shannon got me another pair of really nice jeans from Costco, they are so great, they stretch and look uber-cool. She also got me a t-shirt with fancy designs, in black of course, cuz that's my favorite color in shirts. Hailey and Colton got me a super cool gift. Hailey said she's been looking for it for quite a while for me. She got me a boxed set of all four of the Magnificent Seven movies, digitally re-mastered, etc. The original Magnificent Seven movie is my absolute all time favorite western. Better by far than any John Wayne or Clint Eastwood movie, though they have their own class all their own to be sure. I never even knew their was a 3rd or 4th movie. I can't wait to watch them all. That theme music is just so classic. The other kids got me a nice t-shirt for wearing to go out and two golf shirts to wear to my new job, it helps me look a little more professional.

I took them home at 8:10. They usually are home at 8 p.m. because it's a school night and it's just what we have always done. If they are 10 minutes late, she is phoning me or them to scream at me or them. It's bloody ridiculous. Of course that happened last night as well. Which got me and Hailey into an argument. We ended up apologizing before the night was over through a facebook message exchange. I got home and that was pretty much it for my birthday. The only other thing that happened had nothing to do with my birthday but affects my access to my children on the first day of my week with my kids. So I'm not including that here. I am tired of always discussing and dissin her. It's a bit of a downer that after 5 years it is still so angry and I just refuse to participate anymore.

Hugs and prayers to everyone.

It's my party and I'll laugh if I want to...........

So.....one step closer to 50 as Janie asked if I was 50 yet.....nope..... 47 years ago at 7 a.m. in the morning I came into this world. It's been a heck of a ride, that's for sure. I know for the first 43 years I sure didn't like to take advice. And I'm sure that if you asked Shannon, she'd probably say not much has changed then. But I'm making changes, baby steps for sure, but little by little.

I'm happier now. I healthier now. I laugh a lot more than I ever used to. But along with that, comes a few grumpy moments. I try to limit those though. They are bad for the psyche. Yes, I do have them, and again Shannon is the one who has to put up with them. But she does for the most part. It's a little thing called love. There for those we cherish when they are happy or sad, grumpy or glad. I can't imagine my life without Shannon. I know there are times we both need a little break, but not as in get out of my life break, just a bit of down time. Like last year when I went to Vidette Lake with a buddy. We were no sooner near Hope than I was missing her. I called her every time there was cell phone reception. AND when we were at the lake, there was no reception for two days, I thought I was in purgatory, I missed her so much. So she completes me, makes me whole and helps me through all the bad stuff still going on with the crazy ex wife and my sometimes grumpy children and being laid off from my electrical job. She is there, she is my safety net, my life line and my sanity. Though I'm sure there are times I make her feel less than sane. LOL, but we all have those moments. I love her more than she can ever know through my words alone.

I am also a lot healthier. At the end of my marriage I was at least 60 pounds overweight. Though I'm still carrying an extra 20 pounds, I feel healthier, my blood pressure is down and I feel a lot younger. I don't get mistaken for a 34 year old anymore though, too much hair disappearing now I guess, and the goatee has a fair amount of white in it. But the only lines on the face are a few laugh lines at the corner of the eyes, so I'm doing alright.

So in the words of Travis Tritt, I'm doin' alright and it's a great day to be alive.

Hugs and prayers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ewindscraps%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded

There used to be a time when I could have made this appear as a link or even figured out how to embed it properly as a You-Tube video in my post. But if you don't use it, you lose it. I can't even figure out how to make the link appear as a word anymore.

I found this when I was up early Sunday morning for my morning solitude, peace and quiet in the morning. Surfing blogs I haven't visited in quite a while. I stopped over at Windscraps and she had this on her blog as a video. I watched it three times. I cried three times. Just silent tears slowly seeping out the corners of my eyes. But it was so touching. And somehow so appropriate considering I was watching it on Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day to the Dads out there. And you don't have to be a dad to see the love in this video. Any parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent should be able to appreciate this.

Hugs and prayers.